“God, I need you”, my heart cried out in desperation, too weak to even speak the words. I stood looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. With tears milliseconds away from streaming down my face, I couldn’t make sense of anything. My heart was broken, my head was in shock and my voice somehow had stopped working all together. All I had in me were those four words that caused Heaven to take notice.
In that moment, it was as if God stopped everything and said, “My daughter needs me”, and came rushing down from Heaven to earth to wrap me up in His arms. I felt His presence immediately. In the middle of all my shame and guilt, He offered His arms to hold me and His love to surround me. It was a moment like none other I had ever experienced with God.
Romans 8:1 tells us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. When we have a relationship with Jesus, we no longer stand under the Judgement of God, because Jesus took our place. We have been forgiven and can walk in that freedom.
Sure, we still need to ask God for forgiveness, but He wants us to walk in the fullness of what it is to be His own…forgiven and free, not bound by shame or guilt.
The days following the mess that was made were hard. I felt like a complete failure as a Christian woman. In my weariness I faintly whispered to God, “What have I done?” He responded, without skipping a beat, “Nothing I can’t fix.” Only our Heavenly Father can make beauty from ashes.
God knows I’m going to sin every day. Yet everyday He continues to pour out His love and grace. And the beauty is, He does it because He loves me. No amount of sin could make Him love me any less.
Does that resonate with you at all? Have you felt the weight of your sin yet felt the compassion and forgiveness from God all at the same time? If there’s one thing you get from reading this post, I pray it’s that you come to understand in your heart just how much Jesus loves you. He loves us more in one moment than we could ever love anyone in a lifetime and that love was shown on the cross.
If you have a relationship with Jesus and still struggle with shame and guilt, check out the video below. It's a song that has really helped me, that I hope will encourage you as well. Let the lyrics sink in as we’re reminded of who and where, our source of hope comes from and the freedom we have as followers of Christ.
If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, I encourage you to call on Him now. He loves you so much and wants you to experience true freedom through the work Jesus did on the cross.